人固然可以在人生中選擇不同的生活方式，但生命只有一次，而生命之中不會讓你有太多的時間來轉換角色，佛家有云“衆生百態”，說的就是世間上每一個人都自己的一副面孔，一套爲人處事的方案，所以，人只能選擇成爲一種人，並且要拒絕成爲其他的種種人，爲什麽呢？？你總不能當神父又當乩童，當足球員又妄想自己能同時成爲籃球高手，也不能當法官卻又想當黑幫賺大錢，因爲這一切都是處在一個對立層面的，想要多面著手，但卻不可能面面俱到，到最後也只會是落得一個兩頭不到岸和怨憤終老的下場。

人的一生中都在選擇，而我們盡可能做的，就是為自己所選的努力，寄予厚望，然後忘記所放棄的，徹底貫徹始終。就好像到餐館吃飯一樣，你選了紅燒排骨，清蒸螃蟹，你就得放棄糖醋石班，五香滷肉，並且專心的吃完你的紅燒排骨和清蒸螃蟹，因爲你胃只有一個，而且胃口也沒那麽大，就像人生一樣，只有一次，並且時間不多，除非你能長生不老，不然的話，還是努力走好自己的路，至少到老的時候，還不至於東不成，西不就。

有一個故事是這樣的，一個黑幫老大得悉自己身患頑疾，藥石無靈，卻又非常怕死后會有報應，唯有求助神靈的幫助，於是他早上念般若心經，下午念聖經，晚上又請道士作法延壽，可是到最後他還是死了，他生前打算分散投資，結果迎來的不是各路天使菩薩，而是各路的地獄鬼差，很可笑吧，假如他只選擇一樣，後果可能就會好多了，至少他只需要下一個地獄。

人是要學會專注的，也要學會忘記那些從你人生中落選的，矛盾不會帶來成功，只會帶來失敗，人生選擇太多，道理是非太多，一個人又豈能盡如人意，但求能夠做到無愧於心，就已經算是一番成就了。

爲了證明自己所選是對的，姑且就把那些落選的當成是錯的吧！！

Bro,

I met the dr liao. The testing result not out yet since the bacteria takes time to cultivate and usually it will take up 3-5 days. Mom’s phlemg was only sent to lab on Wed morning. It is confirm that mom is having pneumonia now. Mom can’t really walk far as she has breathing problem due to the infection inside the lung that the lung can’t really absorp more air. Currently the treatment to mom is something like trial and error. The antibiotic been injected to mom is like one small bottle (must be very expensive). But now mom has no more fever. She used to hv fever for one month. The dr also said that if after necessary treatment been given but not yet cover then mom has to be refered to ENT (throat problem). So now we hv no choice but to let mom be hospitalised and wait. Dr also said the disease is not under control yet. She might hv to hospitalise for more than 20 days until confirmed wt the X ray that her lung is clear.

this is the letter my sister send to me at last week…is damn sad to know that,i can extremely imagine that how worse the situation of mom….beside this,thats one thing seems like unbelievable,just as what she told me, my mom was used to have fever for one month, the funniest thing is ,during a whole month, thats no one clicnic doctor that try to suggest my mom should going to hospital, they just keep on giving my mom some antibiotic, thats all they done…actually what the fuck was going on…are they ediot??they already be a doctor more then 10years, and one thing i am interested to know, did they complete their medical certificate in university?? and what the fuck they was learn during their student period??unfortunately the truth is they learn nothing..and somemore they dare to open clinic and give people treatment….izzit damn funny…i dun think so..i am sad and sorry to tell you all, that is obviously our country fuck up medical level…i have no comment for those ediot doctor…the only way i can suggest they do is they better fuck off theirself…if my mom’s currently condition not become better, i am going to burn up their fucking clinic and kick their fucking ass…

One last thing..hope my mom can recover as soon as possible..thats all i wish..and i can sure that those useless doctor will meet together in hell….

昨天，从朋友处抄来了一部电影,名字叫“蝴蝶效应（the butterfly effect)“, 虽然是一部惊悚片，可是看完之后，这部片带给我的感觉，却不仅仅是惊吓两个字那么简单，它引发了我的一段思潮，让我对人生有了另一番的体验。。。

蝴蝶效应是气象学家洛伦兹（lorenz)在1963年提出来的，为了预报天气，他用计算机求解仿真地球大气的13个方程式，意图是利用计算机的高速运算来提高长期天气预报的准确性。1963年的一次试验中，为了更细致地考察结果，他把一个中间解0.506取出，提高精度到0.506127再送回。而当他到咖啡馆喝了杯咖啡以后回来再看时竟大吃一惊：本来很小的差异，结果却偏离了十万八千里！再次验算发现计算机并没有毛病，他发现，由于误差会以指数形式增长，在这种情况下，一个微小的误差随着不断推移造成了巨大的后果。他于是认定这为：“对初始值的极端不稳定性”，即：“混沌 ”，又称“蝴蝶效应”

其大意为：一只南美洲亚马孙河流域热带雨林中的蝴蝶，偶尔扇动几下翅膀，可能在两周后引起美国德克萨斯引起一场龙卷风。其原因在于：蝴蝶翅膀的运动，导致其身边的空气系统发生变化，并引起微弱气流的产生，而微弱气流的产生又会引起它四周空气或其他系统产生相应的变化，由此引起连锁反映，最终导致其他系统的极大变化。但到底是一只蝴蝶就能引起,还是一群蝴蝶同时煽动翅膀而引起的,如过是一只引起的话,那么多的蝴蝶煽动翅膀,这个世界还不到处是龙卷风了?这其实是有特定的条件限制，比如说引起蝴蝶效应那只蝴蝶,是因为在停落在一个山洞口出,那个山洞口的形状就像一个扬声器,它正好处于发音处,而使周围的空气不断产生波动而导致气流变动产生龙卷风。此效应说明，事物发展的结果，对初始条件具有极为敏感的依赖性，初始条件的极小偏差，将会引起结果的极大差异。“蝴蝶效应”在社会学界用来说明：一个坏的微小的机制，如果不加以及时地引导、调节，会给社会带来非常大的危害，戏称为“龙卷风”或“风暴”；一个好的微小的机制，只要正确指引，经过一段时间的努力，将会产生轰动效应，或称为“革命”。

蝴蝶效应其实就常常发生在我们的日常成活上，一个微不足道的动作，或许会改变人的一生，这绝不是夸大其辞，可以作为佐证的事例随手便能拈来，举一个例子，美国福特公司名扬天下，不仅使美国汽车产业在世界占居熬头，而且改变了整个美国的国民经济状况，谁又能想到该奇迹的创造者福特当初进入公司的“敲门砖”竟是“捡废纸”这个简单的动作？那时候福特刚从大学毕业，他到一家汽车公司应聘，一同应聘的几个人学历都比他高，在其他人面试时，福特感到没有希望了。当他敲门走进董事长办公室时，发现门口地上有一张纸，很自然地弯腰把他捡了起来，看了看，原来是一张废纸，就顺手把它扔进了垃圾篓。董事长对这一切都看在眼里。福特刚说了一句话：“我是来应聘的福特”。董事长就发出了邀请：“很好，很好，福特先生，你已经被我们录用了。”这个让福特感到惊异的决定，实际上源于他那个不经意的动作。从此以后，福特开始了他的辉煌之路，直到把公司改名，让福特汽车闻名全世界

就像电影里的剧情一样，男主角埃文是一个平平无奇的大学生，唯一和普通人不同的是从童年时代起，就写日记不停记录他每日生活中的全部细节。某天，埃文忽然读到了那些记录中的一部分，顿时，那些已经被他自己埋葬在内心最深处许多年的黑暗记忆又再次被唤醒，他记起了儿时因为恶作剧而误杀了一对母子，他记起了小时候被凯丽那性变态的父亲玩弄的惨痛记忆，那一切都是改变了他整个少年时代的不堪回首往事。机缘巧合，埃文忽然发现自己可以通过一直搁在床下那些写着当年记录的日记本回到过去，进入自己当年的身体。也许这些落满灰尘的日记本可以让他从此摆脱所有不愉快的记忆，抱着这样的想法，埃文回到过去，力图改写历史，以为这样就可以治愈他受伤的记忆，让他和所爱的人们能从此之后幸福生活。他制定出无懈可击计划，执行起来也小心翼翼。但等他一旦回到现实，却发现一切都已面目全非。他的行为已经造成了损失惨重的改变，而他最亲密的那些朋友的生活已经南辕北辙。特别是他的初恋女友凯丽，他们是儿时玩伴，在经历了长久的漠然以对之后，发现彼此还是相爱。为了弥补自己的错误，埃文只好一次次的回到过去，但每次总有些小事件在他不注意时层出不穷地发生，之后一连串连锁反应，到底让他和他朋友们的生活更加彻头彻尾的改变。于是埃文一次次尝试，他们的生活也就像高速火车一般刹那间从山顶冲下，树林或者河流在窗外一掠而过。凯莉从女招待到学生会主席再到落魄吸毒者。她的命运和他一样不停改变。最后，埃文回到了第一次认识凯莉的聚会，回到从前的埃文骂了凯莉，他与凯莉没有成为好朋友，而凯莉和汤姆也远离了他们那变态的父亲，工作后的埃文在街上偶遇凯莉，但却没有相认。最后凯丽和埃文擦肩而过的情节很独特，他们好象有默契的回头张望，而又放弃般的回过头去踏上各自的道路。结尾的似曾相识的迷离结束在oasis的《Stop Crying Your Heart Out》的歌声中久久回响。

这一切说明了一个事实，当你的一切看来都接近绝望时，试着冷静下来，从你认为最微不足道的小事开始着手，或许就因为这一个小小的决定，你将会创造出让你意想不到的结局，人生是充满希望和生机的，问题就只在于你会如何去面对。

Cocaine is an alkaloid found in leaves of the South American shrub Erythroxylon coca. It is a powerfully reinforcing psychostimulant. The drug induces a sense of exhilaration in the user primarily by blocking the reuptake of the neurotransmitter dopamine in the midbrain.

In pre-Columbian times, the coca leaf was officially reserved for Inca royalty. The natives used coca for mystical, religious, social, nutritional and medicinal purposes. The noted 16th century roman Catholic declared that "coca is a plant that the devil invented for the total destruction of the natives." But the invaders discovered that without the Incan "gift of the gods", the natives could barely work the fields - or mine gold. So it came to be cultivated even by the Catholic Church. Coca leaves were distributed three or four times a day to the workers during brief rest-breaks.

Coca-cola was introduced in 1886 as "a valuable brain-tonic and cure for all nervous afflictions". Coca-cola was promoted as a temperance drink "offering the virtues of coca without the vices of alcohol". The new beverage was invigorating and popular. Until 1903, a typical serving contained around 60mg of cocaine. Sold today, it still contains an extract of coca-leaves. The Coca-Cola Company imports eight tons from South America each year. Nowadays the leaves are used only for flavouring since the drug has been removed.

A coca leaf typically contains between 0.1 and 0.9 percent cocaine. If chewed in such form, it rarely presents the user with any social or medical problems. Indeed coca-chewing may be therapeutic. When the leaves are soaked and mashed, however, cocaine is then extracted as a coca-paste.

Crack-cocaine delivers an intensity of pleasure completely outside the normal range of human experience. It offers the most wonderful state of consciousness, and the most intense sense of being alive, the user will ever enjoy. Groping for adequate words, crack-takers sometimes speak of the rush in terms of a "whole-body orgasm". Drug-naive virgins - slightly shop-soiled or otherwise - cannot be confident (unless in thrall to ill-conceived logical behaviourist theories of meaning) that they have grasped the significance of such an expression. For to do so, it would be necessary to take the drug via its distinctive delivery-mechanism oneself. This is at best very imprudent.

Ultimately, the emotional baseline, and affective analogue of Absolute Zero, characteristic of post-humanity in its hedonically enriched modes of awareness may be greater than anything we can now grasp. It may be higher than the rapturous transports of the most euphoric coke-binge in paleo-human history. In the meantime, a drug which induces a secular parody of Heaven commonly leads the user into a biological counterpart of Hell.